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If you have a history of short lived relationships, you may be causing self sabotage without even realizing it. Sometimes it really is you, not them. Here’s five signs you may have commitment issues that are preventing you from finding happiness.
You Focus On What You’ll Lose
The further you get into a relationship, the more you should be focusing on what you’ll gain from a healthy long lasting relationship. Marriage, children, health benefits. You know, the good stuff.
If, however, you tend to focus on everything you’ll lose as the relationship progresses, you may have some hidden commitment issues. Worrying about freedom, and the ability to come and go as you please, are obvious signs of a problem.
The Grass Is Always Greener
Flirting with someone while you’re in a relationship isn’t unusual. Thinking about other people intimately, again, not unusual. We’re all human, not saints. It happens.
When you imagine a long, happy relationship with someone new, and convince yourself you’d be happier is when you have a problem. If you’ve had several instances of breaking up with someone so you can pursue someone else, you may be avoiding commitment.
Minor Flaws Become Relationship Enders
Sometimes you look for a way out, and turn minor flaws into reasons to end a relationship. Being “too picky” is something you may get teased about, but it can be a very real defense mechanism to help end a relationship that is getting too serious.
If you examine past relationships and they always seem to be too clingy, or too demanding of your time, the problem might not have been them.
You Establish A Safe Emotional Distance
Problems with commitment aren’t exclusive to the tail end of a relationship. When you have deep rooted problems, you’ll often express them in the early stages dating.
You protect yourself, and create emotional distance, by making it clear you’re only looking for a casual relationship. Avoiding public displays of affection is also a way to maintain a safe emotional distance.
You Have A History Of Short Relationships
Sometimes we’re fully aware of our own flaws, and sometimes we’re truly oblivious. When you look back at the history of your relationships were they always short? Do you make a habit of always keeping things casual?
An honest evaluation of your past breakups can reveal some relationship patterns that are painful to think about. But once you identify, and accept, that you’re prematurely ending relationships it can help you move forward and find long lasting happiness.
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